Anti-Viral Baseball

Major League Baseball (MLB) is desperately looking for ways to salvage at least a potion of their 2020 profits, er, season.  Since it seems unlikely that mass gatherings will be permitted before autumn, team owners are considering plans to host teams in Florida and/or Arizona to play an abbreviated schedule in empty ballparks.

Several teams – Tampa Bay, Oakland, Cleveland, and others – have argued that their teams do not actually draw large crowds, especially toward the end of the season, but these teams are not expected to receive waivers.

While some options have been disclosed publicly, other possible changes to the rules of baseball that might allow major league games to resume have not been publicly revealed.

Until now, it seems.

Here is what we know about potential changes to baseball to make it more virus-resistant.

Benches will be removed from the dugouts and bullpens and will replaced by individual chairs anchored six feet apart.

Players and umpires will be required to stay six feet apart at all times. This will move the catcher back six feet from home plate and the plate umpire six feet behind the catcher. First basemen will not be able to hold baserunners close to the bag. To prevent an avalanche of stolen bases, runners will be limited to leads of no more than six feet.

To prevent defenders from having to tag out baserunners, they will be permitted to throw the ball at the runner from six feet or more away.  If the ball hits the runner before the runner reaches the base, he will be out. Infielders may relay their throws to the first baseman, who will throw the ball at the runner. Alternatively, infielders may hit the runner directly with their throws. If the defender must move to within six feet of the base to receive a throw, he will have to retreat to a distance of six feet from the base before he can throw the ball at the runner. Runners will be required to wear chest protectors and shin guards.

All players will wear masks at all times. Since all players will be masked, pitchers and catchers will no longer have to cover their mouths with their gloves when they hold mini-conferences in the mound. During such conferences, players must remain six feet apart. To prevent opposing players from hearing these discussions, stadium organists will play the 1812 Overture at the highest volume setting while pitches and catchers are conversing.

No mound visits from coaches or position players will be permitted. Managers or pitching coaches may send one written note to each pitcher per inning. The notes will be carried to within six feet of the mound by batboys equipped with N95 masks, face screens, and bio-hazard protective suits.

Houston players must remain six feet away from any trash cans in the tunnel behind their dugout.

Walk-off-win celebrations will be conducted on Zoom.

April 11, 2020

Posted in American Life.