If you want to know what the brightest lights of American commerce think of you, just take a look at your e-mail inbox. It’s a pretty revealing gauge of where you are in your journey from fun-loving free spender to cranky old cheapskate geezer. Maybe today you are getting ads for dating sites, restaurants, concert venues, low-interest car loans, and credit cards. Enjoy it, because these happy days won’t last. Pretty soon you’ll be getting ads for roof repair services, debt consolidation programs (You should have thought more carefully about those credit card ads…), European women looking for American husbands, and life insurance. That’s not so bad, (and now that I think of it, maybe the roof does need some work…) but, alas, this golden age won’t last either. Before you know it, you’ll be getting ads for laser eye surgery, male enhancement products, mole removers, walk-in bathtubs, reverse mortgages, and senior dating services. (At this point, apparently, the potential brides in Kiev have lost interest in you…) Next – and this is where I am now – your inbox will sag with large-print ads for foot-fungus treatments, long-term care insurance, foods that fight dementia, and pre-paid funeral services. I am afraid to imagine what comes next.

July 15, 2017